Alexandra Haynes, MS, Life Coach
Anxiety is one of those things that we all hear about, but don’t quite understand or even realize that it is affecting us. Our mood and how we handle daily tasks are all affected. Sometimes it is hard to see what is going on in your life until you are completely overwhelmed and unsure of how to handle your circumstances. In fact, sometimes the stress makes us feel lonely, like no one understands everything that we are going through. Anxiety makes us feel like a lonely mom.
So, what is anxiety, exactly?
Google tells us that anxiety is:
- a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.
Have you ever just felt butterflies in your stomach? You feel tense and you have a hard time being able to focus on any one task. You start to get irritable and the smallest things make you feel like you are going to lose your mind.
Well, that is anxiety. If you are like me, you don’t even realize it, kind of like PMS. You just feel awful and you don’t realize what is happening until it is too late. By then you’ve lost your temper, wandered around most of the day unable to get things done and possibly yelled at someone. At least that's what had been happening to me a few weeks ago.
2020 or Jumanji, level 7?
Life has been flipped upside down. Quite literally for most of us. I know that you aren’t any different and I know that you are struggling to manage many things all at once. As a mom you have so very much to do.
Mom 1- She has to work...
Some of you work out of the home at very stressful jobs. Then you come to your home to take care of the kids and everything else that happens. Add on to that having to find childcare while everything is closed and you can’t be near family members, its enough to make most of us want to eat a whole gallon of ice cream.
Mom 2- She stays at home...
Others of you are stay at home moms. Yes, you’re home. But you are always home alone with the kids. Maybe your husband is home all day too. Maybe you homeschool and maybe you too live far away from family and friends. You need to stay isolated still and even when you want to go somewhere you can’t, because you don’t want to take the kids with you. So you stay home with minimal to no contact with the outside world.
Mom 3- She works from home...
Or, you are a work from home mom. You spend the morning getting things ready, rush to your office to work, come back out to maybe clean or do a load of laundry. Your kids know you are home so they are constantly looking for you, even with the best of support from your husband, kids will always want their mom, which is great… but we all need a break.
3 different mom lives and all three have the same thing in common. Stress and an unbelievable love for their children.
That stress will usually lead to some form of anxiety. Most of the time it is manageable. A break, a long shower, a trip to target, coffee with a friend. All of those sound amazing right now, don’t they? But… we can’t really do most of those. Aside from the shower, the other ones are not really possible right now.
Nervous breakdown, anyone?
The last break I had was a tearful breakdown about having to cook half way through quarantine. As for Target or coffee with friends, well let me just laugh now. None of those are happening for me.
What about you? Are you able to do those things that help you relax? I sure do hope so! But what if you can’t. How are you truly doing? Be honest….
I just told you that I had a break down, about lunch! Tears and all.. Ugly crying, it was bad. But I didn’t have to cook dinner. So tell me, how are you really doing?
Are you irritable, forgetful, waiting for the worst, maybe getting headaches? All of that is part of the anxiety that we are feeling these days.
Life sure ain't easy these days...
The state of the world is very sad right now. It is even painful to watch the unkindness, heartache, and devastation going on around us. It would be impossible to not let it affect us. We are trying to keep our kids and our families as safe as possible. We want to know what the best thing to do is, and frankly, no one seems to know. An uncertain outcome…Well that sure does sum up 2020! It is definitely a year of uncertainty and anxiety.
Did you know that anxiety can be triggered by an event that causes fear or frustration?
Learning to deal with new circumstances can be difficult leading to high levels of stress and anxiety. However, a small change in routing can also cause the same anxious feelings. For some moms it does not take much to cause their stress levels to rise. Daily changes as well as the unknown will definitely bring out anxiety and feelings of fear in all of us.
So now what?
What do we do? How do we get through it? What can you do to feel less worried or stressed and more in control of your feelings.
We need to be able to talk about it. We need to be able to express how we are feeling to someone that we can trust. A husband, a friend, or a life coach. Anyone who you feel comfortable confiding in. Talk about how you are feeling, your worries and your fears. Being able to let those emotions out will truly help you get on the road to decreasing your stress and your anxiety. Don't let anxiety feel like a lonely mom, you are not. You are an amazing mom and you can get through this level of Jumanji.
In my next post, part two of the series, I will be discussing coping skills and setting goals. So get started by making a list of the goals that you have. Things that you would like to get done, both for yourself, at home, and at work.
In the meantime you can follow me on Instagram, where I’ll be going live and talking all about this.
If you feel alone or need someone to speak to, you can schedule a FREE CALL with me to start
setting your goals and help you evaluate your stress level.
And… download your free list of 10 easy coping skills, which we will be talking about more in this series.
“Its the business of parents to worry” -Lady Edith
See a doctor immediately if you
- Are thinking about suicide
- Can't work or complete activities of daily living
Make an appointment to see doctor if you
- Can't work or maintain relationships
- Abuse alcohol or other substances
- Feel sad and slowed down