Yes, I talk to myself
You know that little voice that is always in your head. The one that you hear in your head talking to you. It feels kind of like your grown up make believe friend. That is the voice that you need to change to make sure that you have positive self-talk as a mom.
Your voice who can either lift you up or make you feel really bad about whatever it is that you just did. Sometimes it keeps you from trouble and other times it pushes you off the ledge.
But what is self-talk exactly?
Self -talk is a running inner voice that is not spoken.A running monologue of thoughts. It happens continuously throughout your day.
Depending on your personality, your self talk could be either positive or negative.
Self talk is a good thing when it comes to thinking about ideas, beliefs, encouraging yourself to be able to do things, etc.
But it can also be a negative consequence if you tend to be a pessimistic person. One who tends to think poorly of themselves and the world around them. It is easy to fall into a trap of negative thinking as well. You can easily convince yourself that you are not good enough or capable of accomplishing your goals, but you can.
As a mom this can be dangerous. We tend to judge ourselves very harshly and always look for the bad in every decision we make. We question ourselves relentlessly and we fall victim to the judgment from others. It is imperative that moms practice positive self talk so that when that small voice starts to make you question yourself or make you feel small, you are able to fight it and remember that type of mom that you really are. A great one, doing the best you can for your kids. You work hard, and no, we are not perfect, we don’t get it right every time, but we do love our kids and will do what we believe to be the best at every turn.
Sometimes anxiety can be the cause of negative thoughts, read more about that here.
How can I change it?
- Pay attention to how you talk to yourself
- Practice positive self talk
- Surround yourself with positive people
- Treat yourself with kindness
- Eat well
- Sleep well
First - Pay attention to how you talk to yourself
Part of this step is to accept how you see yourself. Do you think of yourself with kindness? Do you realize that you are a good mom? Do you understand that social media is fake and you should not compare yourself to others?
If you do, great. You are an optimistic mom. Trying your best but you realize that you are not perfect and you can make mistakes. You realize that you are able to take care of yourself and your family but you do need a little help every once in a while. Keep working on your positive thinking to make your self talk strong when you need it.
If you do no, then you are a pessimistic mom. You tend to put yourself down, are quick to judge yourself when things don’t turn out well, and you are quick to feel judged by those around you. Don’t worry, this does not mean we can not change how you talk to yourself, it just means that we need to work at it and practice daily how to change those steps.
1- re-word how you speak to yourself.
Use positive affirmations for yourself
2- Think of yourself with kindness. Make a list of positive things about yourself and
recite those to yourself.
3- Try to not judge yourself harshly. Remember that no one is perfect. Instagram
pictures are just that. They are staged and most of those lives are not
what they seem. You are doing just fine, trust me.
Second- Practice positive self-talk
This might sound hard, but once you get the hang of it, it will seem much easier. Here are some
This is different I can learn something new
I won’t fit in I can stand out from the norm
This is scary I can take a chance and change things
I’m too lazy I want to change my habits and feel better
Listen to the things that you are saying and change the wording. Turn them into positive opportunities for yourself.This may take some practice, but you will get the hang of it.
Third- Surround yourself with Positive people
Humans have this ability to imitate what they are around. Even the most positive of people will start to think in a negative way f they are constantly around negative people. If you are constantly being judged or made to feel bad about your choices, then you will start to believe it.
This is that situation that you always hear about, get rid of toxic people. This is what they mean.
A toxic relationship/person can make you feel insecure, controlled by that person, emotionally drained, and like nothing that you do is good enough. Take a look at those around you and end any relationship that keeps you from doing and feeling your best.
Fourth- Treat yourself with kindness
This means take care of yourself. Make time for yourself and make sure that you are eating well, sleeping well, and exercising. I know that as a mom, all of these things tend to not be our priorities. We always put our children first and we run around taking care of everyone else.
All though, I too am guilty of this, we all need to work on it. We need to find time to at least eat.
As a mom of two, I know that there are days when this is completely impossible. Especially when they are young, but work on it. Start finding ways to fit yourself as a priority in your schedule. Start small and work in more time as your kids need you less.
It is important that you fill your cup to be able to serve your family. Find time to pray and read your bible. I believe that this will fill you with encouragement to do what you need and remind you that you are completely loved by God. You are not alone, you are wonderful, beautiful, and you were made to be a mom to your children. They love you and need you and you are doing a fantastic job.
Talk back to yourself
Learn to be able to differentiate between positive and negative. An optimistic point fo view from a pessimistic one. With some practice you will be able to do this overtime, just as naturally as you speak to yourself now. Don’t be afraid to correct yourself or to put yourself in your own place. Change how your speak to yourself and you will see your attitude will begin to improve and you will develop a higher self confidence. You will realize that you are pretty darn special.
So now what?
First download this FREE list of easy ways to decrease anxiety.
Second- Sign up for a FREE call with me to discuss how you are feeling and what you can do to feel better. We can set some goals or just talk about what is going on. That is up to you.