Use these simple steps to find a positive mindset, self love, and confidence.
The way to true happiness is through acceptance of yourself. Believe in yourself and happy with who you are and what you have. Sounds simple, right? So, why is it so hard? Let’s learn some simple steps to find a positive mindset.
In this day and age it is very easy to compare yourself, your family, your sense of style, your career, your parenting, your beliefs compared to those of others. It is also easy to fall down the rabbit hole and start to question whether you or the things that you have are actually good enough.
This is called the comparison route. I recently did a series on this, you can Read more about that HERE.
To be truly content you need to be you and love you. Let’s start by understanding how we can accept who we are and how to love that person.
What do you mean by comparison?
This always starts out so simply and most of the time you may not realize what is going on.
Let’s use a new house as an example.
You have been dreaming of your new house and you plan and save and work and finally your day arrives. Your dreams come true and you purchase your new home.
You innocently start scrolling pinterest and Instagram for decorating ideas.
Then you start to think about how maybe your house is too small or your furniture is too old. Maybe you don’t have the perfect bathroom or not enough windows. Then you start to dream of what you are seeing instead of focusing on what you have and how wonderful it is.
Eventually you begin to think that it’s ok, but… now you want a bigger house or what someone else wants. You feel down, unsatisfied, and begin to go down the hole.
This means you start to think that the people on IG or Pinterest have a better more together life and you don’t. This decreases your joy and your confidence. But what you forget is that those pics aren’t real. They have been crafted, staged, and photoshopped to give you an illusion.
Or what if you are trying to plan a vacation. You decide on a spot and start to research it. You come across some cool Instagram accounts and wonder why you didn’t go there instead, or how you can’t afford that hotel so now you will be miserable in the one you chose.
You fell down the whole again.
You are taking away your own joy by thinking those pics are real. They aren’t, they are staged. Some parts are true but remember that they have all been staged to give you a certain illusion that the creator want you to get.
You see how it happens, without you even thinking about it.
3 ways to help you not fall down the trap?
1- Find your own self worth
Self worth comes from a place of accepting yourself, all of you, flaws and all. All of those imperfections that you like to focus on, those are the things that make you who you are. No one is perfect, no one is fully photo shopped. We all have good and bad. It is that combination that makes us us.
When you can face your true self you will begin to accept yourself and have real self worth.
You will find what you are capable of when you start hiding and trying to be who you think others want you to be.
It can get hard to see yourself as you truly are by yourself, especially if you are starting out. If you need help, let me know and we can start to identify what is really bothering you. Grab a free session here.
Find your focus to find your strength.
You have to find and focus on your strengths, the things that make you unique that no one else can bring to the table or do. Use your special skills, gifts, your unique ideas to accomplish what you need to do. You will never be able to do what others do, that is there thing. You have your own way of crafting, building, creating. Make a list of all of these things so that when it gets hard you can go over it and remember what you are capable of doing.
Use your talents to do the things that make you and your family happy and that will make you feel fulfilled at the end of the day.
When you are able to focus and do those things that you are gifted in, you will begin to find your self worth and acknowledge your strengths. You will find your self worth by being you and not trying to be someone else.
2- Find your confidence in what you have achieved
Most days you can sit and look around and focus on what you have, what you have done, and how you use your talents.
You can scroll social media and focus on the accomplishments of others. You can see what they have or want to make you believe that you they have and start to doubt yourself.
When you choose to do the latter, you miss out on all of the wonderful things that you are blessed with. Maybe your house is smaller, but maybe it has more love in it. Maybe your vacations aren’t as glamorous, but maybe your family doesn’t fight through most of it, nor do you waste precious moments trying to get the perfect picture.
The truth is you don’t know what has happened behind the scenes of those pictures. What you do know is what you have, what you have been blessed with, and what makes your family happy and proud to call you the momma.
A good way to help you do this is by using positive self talk. Read here to learn how to have a positive inner monologue.
3-Find joy in the gifts that God has given you
Have you heard that saying, the grass is always greener on the other side.
Well, this is one of those situations where you should think about what that means.
Are you finding your joy in the things that you have or are enjoying you looking for joy in the things that other people have? Are you trying to imitate the lives you see in hopes of finding joy and happiness.
Your familiar with the term FOMO. The Fear Of Missing Out
This is a real problem that many people face daily. They are worried that if they miss out on what others are doing it then they won’t be as happy as they could be. But this is simply not true. what others do or have, has absolutley NOTHING to do with the amount of joy that is in you own life.
Are you busy trying to have the life that someone else has instead of enjoying the blessings that you have in your life?
Ask yourself this question. Be honest in the answer you have. Write in your Journal about it. Then on a separate page make a list f the things that you really want to do and the things that truly make you happy.
Do what will make YOU happy
It is vital for you, your mental health, and your overall happiness to stop looking at what others have or have accomplished. You need to focus on you and your family.
Focus on the blessings that you have, the blessings that God has given you. They may not be perfect, however, if you learn to enjoy them and find the joy in them, your happiness will grow. Your gratefulness will grow and your confidence will grow.
You will become the you that you should be. The you that is amazingly wonderful with what you have, good and bad. Love yourself and build your confidence so that you may find your true happiness.
Learning to love yourself is vital in your role as a woman. Read here for more tips on how to find real and lasting self confidence.
There is no need to compare yourself to anyone else. God made you special with amazing gifts and talents. The people around you know and truly think you are amazing and feel protected and loved whenever you are around. You run your household perfectly for what your family needs. At night when you are up trying to catch a few minutes of quiet, your family sleeps because they know that you have made their home warm, safe, and perfect.
Love yourself and stop feeling judged, left out, overwhelmed, or as if you are not enough.
You are AMAZING!
If you need more help with this or want to talk about how to find your self confidence, set up a FREE mindset coaching session here to help you identify your strengths and fears to start your journey.
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