Be my Valentine…
This year I have 3 Valentines to love and who love me back! I learned to believe in myself after a long journey.
But I wasn’t always that lucky. I still remember one particular V-day that I felt so lonely I just cried. My brother and his now wife took off on a fun romantic valentines day adventure. That year I didn’t have anyone in my life, not even a good friend to hang out with and I felt so lonely. It was long ago, but still I remember how terribly lonely and jealous I felt. I felt like I wasn’t
A Sad Beginning
They knew that I was having a hard time so they stopped by and left me a Valentine’s day present. I still have it and cherish it. Then they left and I just broke down. I wasn’t in a very good place back then. So I told myself things that weren’t true. I believed things about myself that clearly weren’t true.
Life Always Gets Better
Things turned around quickly and that was the last Valentine’s day that I felt so miserable. Not even the one where I had already met my then to be husband who wasn’t able to take me out that year (too sick, he says). In fact, that was one of my favorite love myself Valentines Day. It was me and my schnauzer love and all the Japanese take out with a Friends marathon. I don’t know if it was because I had already met my someone or I was just happy in my life, but just as I remember the most miserable one, that was the best one I had, until I married my love. Maybe it was because I felt so confident in myself, that I felt that that was one of the best days I had to myself.
It’s Funny How We Remember Things. How They Affect Us.
See sometimes no matter how much love we have, we don’t see it. Because that miserable day, I had so much love from friends and family but I didn’t like myself so I didn’t believe nor accept it. Now that I look back I feel sad for myself, sad that I actually believed those lies.
Sometimes It’s Easier to Believe the Lies
I think we are all guilty of those lies. We tell ourselves things that aren’t true. We do this continuously and then we believe them. They are what we professionals call limiting beliefs.
They are those negative thoughts that we often allow to creep in… such as I’m not good enough, I can’t do this, why try if I am only going to fail?, no one will believe that I know what I am talking about.
If we are being honest we all have thoughts like that. The problem begins when we start to believe them. When we allow them to convince us that we are not enough.
What do we do?
First: we stop telling ourselves lies
This is one of those easier said than done things.
It takes a little bit of work, but this can be done. You have to remember who you are. You are a wonderful mom, a great wife, a fun sister, a great friend. You do your best every day, you do what needs to be done to keep your family going. You are a woman, who can do anything that you put your mind too.
Second: We work on ourselves. We give ourselves time to remember who we are. We work on our faith, and focus on all of the positive things that we are.
Third: We believe the truth. We start to believe that we are amazing wives, mothers, and friends. We focus on all of those little positive things that we are able to do that make our lives better and that help those that we love. We believe that we are who God created us to be.
Some ways to get yourself to remember who you are
1- Girls Night. For some making that time can be hard, but try to go out with a friend. It will completely change your perspective and help you reset to keep going. It helps us feel like the person that is pushed down under the all of the responsibilities is still there. Just because things are different doesn’t mean that you are not there. You are, find yourself.
2- Journaling. Start a journal and write things. If you don’t like to write draw and doodle, just get your thoughts out
Read more about Art journaling Here
3- Spend some time alone, go to Target or Starbucks, just take a bit to be alone and wonder around
Read about some positives about spending some Alone time Here
4- Start a new hobby, or pick up an old one. Knit, Read, Garden, Paint… anything you want. Just find something that is yours that makes you happy.
Read about some Hobby ideas here
Pick one or two of these to help you get on the right track.
Be your Valentine, believe in yourself, love who you are.
This Valentines Day, remember to love yourself. Remember the amazing person that you are, that you have always been. Changing in life with the responsibilities that come with it don’t make you less or not enough. They make you stronger and better. So Be your Valentine. Learn to love yourself, and remember how wonderful you are and how much you deserve to be loved. You make the world a better place.
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